Gillian Laub
Off the Derech
Abby Stein, New York, 2018. Off the Derech. March 2018. Abby Stein in her bedroom with her 6 year old son’s photographs hanging above her. (His face is blurred in order to protect his identity) Now a trans activist, just 5 years ago Abby was an ultra-Orthodox rabbi from a high-ranking Hasidic dynasty. Although she followed the traditional path of a young Hasidic man - Yeshiva, an arranged marriage at 18, Abby always felt different, but didn’t understand what that exactly meant. Abby's first language is Yiddish even though she grew up in Brooklyn. She had no access to the internet, TV, music, literature, so at the age of 20 she taught herself English. A breakthrough came when she used her friends tablet to connect to wi-fi and typed “a boy turning into a girl.” She quickly learned she was not alone and started to question the hermetically sealed community she was raised in. She also knew leaving would come at tremendous cost. She could lose her son. She said, "To some extent, leaving the community was even harder than transitioning. I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn't know anyone, couldn't speak the language, and didn't have an education. I didn't know how to dress. I didn't know how to talk. I remember the first time walking into a Starbucks, I was like, 'OK, what's happening here?' The culture shock is just in every level, every way...it’s like being an immigrant in your own country…It was a slow process it didn’t happen overnight.” Abby is now a student at Columbia University and sends her family a text every week wishing them a good Shabbat. They haven’t responded to her yet.
Vogue Magazine
